Dos and Don’ts

If you are the parent of a recent college grad, you are likely concerned about whether or not they will be able to establish themselves in a career path where they will be happy, healthy, and independent. Whether your grad is moving back home or not, certain factors may affect them differently. But ultimately, all grads share your goals of being healthy, happy, and independent. Consider reading the blog: An Open Letter to the Parents of College Grads.

Every jobseeker (early or mid-career) needs four things:

    1. Reorganization: Their living situation has changed and that brings with it an entire set of sensitivities to the different needs of those around them. It includes when and what they will eat, where they can park their car, sensitivity to the evening schedules in your home, and who gets into the bathroom in the morning.


    1. Routine to manage their job search: Moving home isn’t like a new semester where they fit their work around their class schedules. They have to figure out the pieces of the job search and construct a routine to get it done. They may need summer employment to pay their initial bills while they look for career work.
    1. Resilience to get through the challenge: This includes the support of family and friends. Your goal, as a parent, is to encourage and create a safe environment where they can make mistakes. They will learn quickly
  1. Professional help to reduce the time to employment: In the current economic landscape, there are new sets of skills that every jobseeker has to master. Selecting professional help can significantly reduce the time it takes to learn them as well as the time to employment.

How parents can help:

  • Have open/honest conversations.
  • Encourage. They need to hear that you believe in them.
  • Share stories of your own early blunders so they know you don’t expect perfection from them
  • Allow them to experience the consequences of their decisions.
  • Set an example of managing your emotions.

What to avoid:

  • Nagging, threatening or begging.
  • Judgment (when they take time for friends, consider insane avenues, say off-the-wall thoughts and ideas).
  • Imposing unfair rules and regulations.
  • Offering finances, ideas, or suggestions unless asked.
  • Getting them interviews for jobs that aren’t a good fit.

    NOTE: 85% of entry-level employees lose their first job in three to six months. Why? Because it isn’t a good fit. It can shake their confidence for years. It is a devastating start to a career.

Questions to consider:

  • Why is the grad moving back home?
  • How much contact is expected? (Meals, weekends?)
  • How will finances work?
  • Will grads continue to have a credit card in their parents’ name?
  • Are there expectations about leaving overnight? Bringing friends in?
  • What is the division of labor? (Laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning)

Questions? Please call: (860) 833-4072 or email:

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